Modern Day Princess

i hate myself right now!

of all the days for me to do something stupid it had to be today! why am i so dumb! i'm always a perfectionist, God i hate myself for mixing up those schedules creating problems for some of my peers

is college life really like this! i can't stand this failure of mine! i feel like crying already help me someone please!

GOD MY WEEK STARTED IN SUCH A TOTAL RUT!

I CAN'T SPEAK....I FEEL LIKE I'M ABOUT TO COLLAPSE INTO A FEVER.....TO TOP IT OFF...O FEEL LIKE I HAVE ATON OF BRICKS ON MY BACK!

GOD CAN THIS WEEK GET ANY WORSE?

I FEEL LIKE CRYING ALREADY!!!!!!

HUUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUUHUHUUHUHUUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU

JAmOrAdS!

"JAMORADS"

That's what we fondly call our ever-so-generous-&-loving-MAYOR,

Ms. Jezelle Maxine Amorado.

Who would have thought that the girl I was taking in as an ARCHRIVAL at the first day of classes would be my LIFESAVER!

And as what I see now will be one of my truly valued friends (or should I say BFF?) by the end of my journey in high school.

She has done a lot of things not only for me but also for the whole class of LS402. I don't think our class would have ever survived the first semester of the year if not for her. She's a very responsible person. Would you believe that not only is she the mayor of our class but also the president of a certain organization in our school!(Forgive me Jez if the name of the organization slipped out of my mind.) Talk about big responsibilities. Imagine thinking about your class' status then about the org's activities!. I can't even handle my barkada or myself let alone worry about other people's welfares. Whew!.

Another reason why I admire her is her open-mindedness. She is the person you can practically talk about anything without ever worrying about harsh opinions. We could talk for hours and hours nonstop if given the chance. She has a gentle and wonderful heart. She is also very thoughtful in so many ways. I can't find the words to explain how grateful I am that the Almighty God has given her to me. Although we have only been friends for several months now, I can already prove that this person is a reflection of

TRUE BEAUTY.

The second semester have just begun, and I look forward to having more learning experiences and adventures with her. With us being groupmates in English for our book report (together with Nikki, w/c by the way I am very thrilled about) and Physics in our I.P., I can't help but think about what awaits us. I do hope that as I learn may things from her, she does learn something from me too.

And to my ever beloved Jez, I can't explain what feeling I have in my heart everytime I think of you. How grateful I am with you being a wonderful friend to me. Given & taught me so many things that in my perspective, I can never repay. I hope this friendship I share with you never stops blossoming. You need not to worry if ever you experience problems along the way, I may not be a big help but I assure you that I'll be there to share your suffering and try my best to cheer you up. I adore you in so many ways and idolize you for what you have achieved and done and what you are still doing. Just keep up the good work! Stay the same!. Never forget to praise & thank God!

Love you KAPATID!

JAmOrAdS!

"JAMORADS"

That's what we fondly call our ever-so-generous-&-loving-MAYOR,

Ms. Jezelle Maxine Amorado.

Who would have thought that the girl I was taking in as an ARCHRIVAL at the first day of classes would be my LIFESAVER!

And as what I see now will be one of my truly valued friends (or should I say BFF?) by the end of my journey in high school.

She has done a lot of things not only for me but also for the whole class of LS402. I don't think our class would have ever survived the first semester of the year if not for her. She's a very responsible person. Would you believe that not only is she the mayor of our class but also the president of a certain organization in our school!(Forgive me Jez if the name of the organization slipped out of my mind.) Talk about big responsibilities. Imagine thinking about your class' status then about the org's activities!. I can't even handle my barkada or myself let alone worry about other people's welfares. Whew!.

Another reason why I admire her is her open-mindedness. She is the person you can practically talk about anything without ever worrying about harsh opinions. We could talk for hours and hours nonstop if given the chance. She has a gentle and wonderful heart. She is also very thoughtful in so many ways. I can't find the words to explain how grateful I am that the Almighty God has given her to me. Although we have only been friends for several months now, I can already prove that this person is a reflection of

TRUE BEAUTY.

The second semester have just begun, and I look forward to having more learning experiences and adventures with her. With us being groupmates in English for our book report (together with Nikki, w/c by the way I am very thrilled about) and Physics in our I.P., I can't help but think about what awaits us. I do hope that as I learn may things from her, she does learn something from me too.

And to my ever beloved Jez, I can't explain what feeling I have in my heart everytime I think of you. How grateful I am with you being a wonderful friend to me. Given & taught me so many things that in my perspective, I can never repay. I hope this friendship I share with you never stops blossoming. You need not to worry if ever you experience problems along the way, I may not be a big help but I assure you that I'll be there to share your suffering and try my best to cheer you up. I adore you in so many ways and idolize you for what you have achieved and done and what you are still doing. Just keep up the good work! Stay the same!. Never forget to praise & thank God!

Love you KAPATID!

To all my friends here in blog.co.uk i apologize for not being able to reply as often as i used to... also for not updating what has been happening to me the past few weeks... well the title of this blog says it all... I jezelle maxine have finally graduated.

It all happened last April 4, 2008 in our schools gymnasium... it's one event that i shall never forget... my friends and classmates smile will forever in my heart. It was on this day that I realized that my four years of hard work and service to both my school and less fortunate members of our community had not gone in vain. I received the St. Brother Miguel Award for my service in the Catechetical and Religious Emissaries organization of our school. this award was also given to a student whom of which excelled in the field of catechism. i proudly ascended on to the stage and happily received the medal... i finally fulfilled my parents dream of having a child graduate with an award.

As my fellow La Sallians and throw our caps in joy and relief knowing that our hardships and journeys are over, i realized that a chapter of my life has finally closed and it's time to move on into a life that will have more surprises and challenges in stored for me. Moving onto my college life i courageously walk with my head up high and confidence knowing that i can achieve far greater things in life because i carry on my shoulders years of knowledge and guidance from people who love and support.

i wish to thank my family who never lost hope in me, my friends who are far to many to even fit here whom of which were all there for me for both my ups and downs, my teachers and administrators who helped hone my knowledge and skills and most of all God and the Holy Family who protected me all these years and hopefully will continue to protect and bless me as i enter a new chapter of my life.

I'm finally leaving this place i called home for the past 10 to 11 years of my life. and i just can't wait. i'm sick and tired of living in a place where i feel so trapped by everyone around me. the worst part is that the people keeping me trapped most of the time are the people around me. If they love me that much why do they still treat me like a child? for Gods sake I'm sixteen, girls my age around the world have done almost everything girls at my age should do. plus they live lives that no one interferes. but for me it's different. i have no problems being open with my family. i let them read my messages on my phone, know every secret that i have and let them know of my every move. it's just so frustrating that whenever i try to make some alone time for myself they keep interfering, and if i want to keep certain things private they will do almost everything to get it out of me. i know it's partially my fault since i choose to be open with them, but they also have to learn to give me my space. I'm no 10 anymore, I'm growing up and somethings need to be kept private.

I'm glad I'm finally leaving for college, it's my chance to have some time for myself and catch up on the things i should have done while i was in high school. I'm going to miss my family, no doubt about that, but i think the coming next three years will do us some good.

thanks for those who took time to read my blog and i hope you had a better day than i did! God Bless!

*hug*

love lots!

i got in! i really got in!!! my dream has finally come true. i got the results of my entrance exam from the college i wanted to go to, i was so happy that i was accepted. i can't wait to move in with my grandparents this summer!!

* jumps for joy*

thanks to everyone who prayed for me!!!!

love lotS!!!!

*hug*

My graduation is coming up soon and it means i have to go off to college pretty soon. I have my mind set in studying in a college away from my parents, although it's just about 2 and 1/2 hours away and i will be living with my grandparents in their home in manila i can't shake off the feeling that i'm not that sure about my decision as i think i do. It's probably anxiety as my friends would call it being that it would be my first time in years since i've been separated from my family. but i think it's just me and my fear of not being able to meet their expectations while i'm there.

there are days that i'm confident and ready to go but sometimes i go back to my old personality and crawl back to the nice little spot beside my mom. i'm also uncertain about my course, i originally wanted to take up consular and diplomatic affairs but that all changed last weekend when my grandfather pep talked me back into taking up law as i previously planned when i was younger.

everything just seems to have derailed, my plans, my choices and even my self confidence when the fact that i'm graduating in a couple of weeks finally sank in!

why can't everything be as simple as picking what flavor ice cream you like or whether to wear pink or not!!!!!!

i just feel so stressed and ready to burst into tears and shout out the uncertainty inside me and finally move on!!!

has high school made me crazy or is this just normal for a graduating student at my age?!?!?!

I realized that i am so lucky to have brothers. life is great having them around! heheheheheh

to everyone who has brothers be happy that you have someone to lean on to!

hehehehehe!

Losing someone is a very difficult thing to bare. i should know i just lost my uncle five months ago, and i still haven't recovered from it. I was so devastated when my friend text messaged me this evening about her grandmothers sudden death. she loved her so much and i felt her pain the instant i received her message. she and her other siblings are like family to me and i can just imagine how their feeling right now.If i ever lost anyone of my grandparents i might not be able to recover for at least a year. To my friends who know me very well they know that i have this sort of gift wherein i can sense and even dream of certain events before they occur. I've seen people die, I've seen people suffer, I've even seen myself staring into my great grandfathers coffin just two months before his passing. You can just imagine my shock to be staring right at the same coffin the day of his funeral.

This gift of mine acted up yesterday when i came to school. before i went inside our classroom i was feeling great, then my friend suddenly noticed my expression changed from happy to sad. i started feeling like i was about to cry, i told a friend that i felt that something wrong was going to happen. when the day passed and nothing happened i ignored the feeling, then i realized tonight that maybe that feeling was me sensing my friends grandmothers death.

i really can't explain it, i somehow felt connected with my friend and as she knew and that i knew something was going to happen. i think i was the last person she ever talked about her grandmother. this experience has happened to me in the past, the other experience was the day before my best friends dad died and i was the last person he talked about his dads activities and the same night my adviser text messaged me about his dads passing.

i guess i just have to accept these occurrences as one of Gods missions for me in my life and that i have to be there for them no matter what.

to everyone who is reading this blog all i can say is treasure each moment you have with your loved ones. you never know when they will suddenly disappear from your side. also remember that God will be the only one to tell us that this is the end of the road and that we will be at his side forever.

goodnight for those in the Philippines and good morning to those half around the world reading this blog.